Remind me not to take the Times seriously anymore. After this quite sensible advice:

YOU will be tempted, on Tuesday, to drink something green. Resist it.
I’m not referring, by the way, to the green-dyed light beer that will be flowing on St. Patrick’s Day like water from a broken fire hydrant. If you’re tempted by that, I won’t stop you: Erin go Bro, and godspeed.

No, what I’m talking about is the cocktail equivalents of green beer, all the “obligatory Midori and crème de menthe drinks,” as Anthony Malone, the Dublin-born general manager and bartender at Puck Fair, an Irish bar on Lafayette Street near Houston, put it. “All those awful green things,” he said, such as the Everybody’s Irish, a drink that calls for Irish whiskey, crème de menthe, Chartreuse and a green olive. Everybody’s Irish? Everybody’s gagging.

We get this utterly sickening bilge:

Earlier this year, he issued a curious challenge to a select group of bartenders in New York, Chicago, Boston and San Francisco. He asked them to create cocktails based upon the traditional Irish breakfast — eggs, bacon, black and white pudding, and toast. And Bushmills, of course, though Mr. Egan hesitated to cite his product as a breakfast staple. “More like brunch,” he demurred.

Here in New York, Jim Meehan of PDT responded with a drink in which bacon-infused Bushmills is combined with maple syrup, orange and lemon juice and a whole egg.

The entry from Eben Freeman, at Tailor, was more baroque: bacon-infused Bushmills, again, adorned with roasted tomato gelée squares, a slow-poached quail egg yolk, an Irish breakfast-tea foam and crispy black-pudding bits.

Shite and onions, as John Joyce would say. If you’re going to have whiskey for breakfast, leave off the garnishes.